What is your crutch?

We all have a fallback, a crutch, something to help us deal with particular experiences, situations or circumstances. However it is when that thing that gives us the little push or help we need in a particular context gradually becomes a dependency that it may be time to start thinking about change. Everyone’s crutch or support mechanism is different and maybe different for different needs. It could be anything from alcohol, drugs, smoking, food, exercise, shopping, gambling or even different superstitions. Perhaps it is someone who took up smoking when they were younger because they loved the social factor of it but now they are a father, they are more worried about their future health and the social side really isn’t a reality or priority for them anymore.

Consider Andrea’s example.

Andrea who loved her job and the people she worked with but she struggled with low-self esteem and anxiety when socialising with a group of people. It was a very social workplace and people would often go out for drinks. Andrea would have a few quick drinks to calm her nerves and help her feel more comfortable chatting with everyone. She loved the confidence she felt after a few drinks and began to go out more and more to experience it. Soon she was out every night and the late nights and recovery started to impact on her work. This also started to erode her confidence at work and she would sometimes have a drink at lunch if she had a presentation coming up.

Another example is Jo.

Jo had a high stress workplace that involved working with some tricky personalities and they didn’t want to be bringing home the residual stress from the day to unload on their partner.  Jo started off having a drink when they got home from work before their partner arrived and then another when they go home – whether they joined them or not.  What started as a couple of glasses some nights, became every night. Eventually they were finishing off a bottle each night. Stopping by the bottle-shop on their way home from work began to be part of their routine. The more their partner commented on how much they were drinking, the more they wanted to drink. The relationship became more and more tense as they began to argue more and more. Jo knew they were probably drinking too much but also felt like they needed something to help cushion the stress and frustration that was now happening at work and at home. Jo feels stuck but not sure how to change the pattern they have developed for themselves.

Undoing a reliance on pattern and working to replace it with something new and more useful to your current priorities and needs is something that strategic psychotherapy with hypnosis can be very helpful for.