Breaking the ruminating cycle and making change happen

Many of us find ourselves wondering about whether we have chosen the right career, committed to the right partner, made the right investment or other purchases or life decisions. Perhaps even running thought patterns over and over again about what might have been had things been different or other choices been made. Learning to break this ruminating cycle and make change happen is possible.

If you have already identified that you are ruminating, stuck in a loop thinking about what could have been, or what could be, this can be an opportunity to really think about your priorities and whether the path we are currently on is right for us. This process can often reveal new perspectives on where we are now, often also helping find a new sense of renewal, or, help us start to see new options, choices and pathways to something new.

The first step is to decide to move beyond the ruminating thoughts circling around in your head. Often with a “What If” theme, these thoughts can foster feelings of disenchantment, regret, jealousy and frustration. Emotional responses like these can feel binding and inhibiting of future change. But they don’t have to be.

Finding the right tool or support to help you break that cycle is essential. Perhaps reading well-known books or recordings by well-known people like Malcolm Galdwell and Brene Brown will work for you, for others exercise helps to clear the mind, others might listen to online guided meditation recordings and others will seek out personal or career counselling sessions or a clinical hypnotherapy program. The most important thing is to take that first action. To take that first step is a demonstration to yourself that you can start to break that cycle. Recognising the cycle, and recognise that just thinking about it over and over again, doesn’t make change happen. Change only happens if you take action.

Case of Anna

Anna found herself in a position where the thoughts about changing her situation seemed unstoppable. Looping over and over again in her mind. Each time seeming to make the feelings of frustration and regret stronger.

Anna had been focused on her career and education for as long as she could remember. She was lucky that she had been able to go into an area she loved after she finished her qualification. She loved her work, enjoyed the people she worked with and she was good at what she did. The job was fantastic at first, it was interesting, motivating and came with a few cool perks.  

The truth was that over time the excitement disappeared and instead the reality of the huge hours she put in, constantly focused on making sure everything was done well and the time and effort she put in to support others to do things well too, all began to drain her.

Office politics that she used to be aware off but not get to her ,began to take on more and more importance. Her patience started running thin. Work that was once wonderful, was no-longer inspiring or motivating her. The cracks seemed bigger than ever and appearing in places she hadn’t even noticed before.

She began thinking about changing jobs, what would be involved, every morning before work, during work, after work. Questioning why she kept going but still she got up, did the work, did it well and walked the same path.

Months past by and she still asked herself the same questions but now they included words blaming herself for her inaction and inability to break the cycle. Simply creating a stronger negative emotional response to the situation she saw herself in.

Anna read self-help books, and they started to help. She became more aware of the actions she could take. But there seemed to be some invisible force stopping her from taking that action or first step to change.  

Hypnotherapy can help to address these barriers that exist in the subconscious. It is a tool that can help Anna to address barriers to managing how she responds to the uncertainty of change or to gain confidence she can manage the known and unknown consequences of changing . In other words helping Anna to see make the steps to change more certain and with that, her ability to move forward.